CONT (2/3):

 

My greatest achievement to date is probably my son, born in 2007. I am informed by my wife that she feels she should be given some credit for this, but I think she is merely jealous of my accomplishment. She tries to base her spurious arguments on a few trifles and technicalities, but I love her deeply so I simply respond with my best indulgent smile, which she finds utterly endearing.

 

Advice from assorted PR pundits tells me that readers seek to establish a relationship with the author of work that moves them, and so I should share some intimate facts about myself, to strengthen and nurture this bond. To me this seems like a strange idea, reading has always leant itself to being a solitary activity, especially as having someone leaning over your shoulder whilst you are doing it is extremely annoying. As for my work moving my readers, well that seems most likely to happen if they swallow some of the pages down with a glass of warm milk, but I do not recommend this as grass is a readily available source of roughage, and is considerably more plentiful, and hence cheaper.